him

Would you believe I’ve grown up? Would you believe that I know when to say enough is enough when I drink? That I am now the prude in my group of friends, the one telling others what to do about their health instead of blatantly disregarding my own.

The one who suggests maybe we should quieten down and be considerate of others around us, instead of the creator of the nuisance. The one who becomes embarrassed about silly mistakes they make, the one who doesn’t put all her cards on the table early, while wearing her heart on her sleeve.

Would you believe that the thought of cheating on someone I care about is now inconceivable to me, instead of the bragging right it was back then? Did you know I am now ashamed of the very things I used to constantly put out on display?

Would you believe that I still think of you often and fondly, and wish things didn’t end the way they did.

We could never be again, and while it is heartbreaking, I can actually accept it now. I know I was wrong, I know I hurt and embarrassed you. And the me now would never do that to anyone every again.

I just wish you could hear my apology.